dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
