I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
