hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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