I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
