how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
