What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Randomize
