Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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