two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
