I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
