so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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