Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
