I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
