let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
