so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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