Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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