Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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