you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
