Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
