He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
you never un-have a 4some
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
