Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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