so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
