i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
