I need help removing her.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
