Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
