after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize