I accidentally had phone sex last night
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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