the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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