Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
