You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Your penis caused this!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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