Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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