Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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