I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
