He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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