ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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