im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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