Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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