the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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