Will you blow on my dice?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
