Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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