I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
