Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
