Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
