did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You're breaking my sexual little heart
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
