Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
