i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
