those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
