considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
