Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
