and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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