I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
