im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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