You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize