We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
