well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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