you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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