How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
