i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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