So drunk its hurt
I accidentally burped into my bong.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
