i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
