Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
