He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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