were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize