I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
being pregnant is like rehab
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Randomize
