New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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