good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
