Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
