I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
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