my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
