Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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