i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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