My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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