I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
